


Voice of Never, Never Land

by BooknerdMiss



Series: Criminal Minds/Avengers Crossovers [5]
Category: Criminal Minds, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 50 Shades of Gray Bashing, But what else is new?, Cranky Clint, Crossover, Even though Sam Wilson is in this, Giant chickens, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Magic, Multi, Neko Cliche, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Post Avengers, Prompt Fic, Sequel, Snark, Spencer's in trouble, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Tony Stark Flirts, Twilight Bashing, inaccurate science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3522872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooknerdMiss/pseuds/BooknerdMiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer comes to visit Tony in New York, but of course he gets caught up in some trouble. Loki is up to some mischief. </p><p>Just a fun sequel to Counting What Ifs. Inspired by a prompt on the Criminal Minds kink meme. Rating will most likely go up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Thank you for stopping by. This is the full blown sequel to Counting What Ifs. It is just a fun little something that was inspired by this prompt off the CM kink meme: 
> 
> Somehow Reid is/has been turned into a cat person(Or Neko, I guess) with cat ears and tail. Bonus points:  
> Cat behavior(Rubbing against people, taking naps in the sun, purring, ect.)
> 
> So don't expect anything too serious or suspenseful because that is definitely not what you're going to find here. I am unsure how many chapters this is going to be, but I hope you will stick with me and enjoy the journey.

**Voice of Never, Never Land**

_Date Started: January 5, 2015_

"You're so excited you're practically vibrating," Clint Barton muttered, his sharp eyes focused on his teammate who was fluttering to and fro in the kitchen. "It's almost sickening."

"Don't be jealous, BirdBrain. Your Boo will be back soon enough," Tony Stark quipped, pouring another serving of dark, rich coffee into his mug. 

"If you ever use the word Boo again, I'll end you," the archer growled. 

"Get in line," the Black Widow drawled as she made her way into the kitchen. She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and a zip-up sweatshirt, her red locks pulled into a messy bun. 

"Rude," Tony stated simply before raising his cup to his mouth and taking a quick sip of the scalding liquid inside. He watched as Natasha plucked Clint's coffee from his loose grasp and took a large swallow. Clint's eyes were narrowed as he watched her and the redhead cocked an eyebrow at him. 

"What's got you in such a snit?" she asked, depositing the mug back onto the island. 

"Like I said, his missing - ," Tony began, but Barton's voice interrupted him. 

"What did I say about you using that word again?" the man questioned darkly. Tony mimed pulling a zipper across his mouth, tucking his lips in and turning his eyes towards the ceiling in a faux play at innocence. 

"Barton?" Natasha commanded, placing one hand on her hip. 

"Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, s'all," Clint grumbled, rising from the stool that he had been parked in. "I just need to shoot something." 

" _AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE_!" 

Tony placed his mug on the island and hustled his way towards the elevator. "Looks like you're getting your wish."

\--

\--

"This is a joke, right? This can't be real," Tony muttered, ducking an attack before blasting the enemy in the back and watching as it evaporated.

"Seems pretty real to me," Sam Wilson responded over the comms. "But I know what you mean." 

"Seriously, where are the cameras? Are we being Punk'd?" Stark griped. 

"It seems as if my brother is up to his tricks again," Thor commented, sending Mjolnir flying from his grasp and destroying a wave of creatures that had been approaching hm.

Tony growled, a sound that the Hulk also seemed to echo around them. "Of course he is," the engineer said, driving his foot through the gut of one enemy before executing a crouch and spin that allowed him to obliterate one behind him with a well timed shot from his gauntlets. 

"Chatter," Captain American scolded over the line. The sound of his shield pinging off bodies and lamp posts vibrated through the teams' ears, a symphony that swelled with the whistling of Clint's arrows and the solid sound of Natasha's fists. 

"Sorry Cap, but when New York gets attacked by sparkling vampires straight out of _Twilight_ there will be no quiet from me," Tony shot back as he launched himself into the air after Jarvis had confirmed that the area was clear. 

"Twilight? It's morning," Steve replied, his frown easily heard in his voice. 

"Note to everyone, make sure to keep _Twilight_ away from Steve. We don't want to ruin him," Tony said. 

"Noted," Natasha grunted back in agreement, launching herself off of one vampire and onto the next. 

"It looks like they're pretty thinned out," Clint informed after a few more minutes of fighting. "There's just a pocket over with Natasha." 

"Anyone got a read on the Hulk?" Steve questioned, making his way towards his redheaded teammate. 

"Transformed back," Bruce's tired voice returned. "There's not a lot of them left and they're easy to take care of. It didn't make much sense for the Other Guy to stick around any longer." 

"Need a lift, Jelly Bean?" Tony asked, doing a lazy twirl in the air as he leisurely headed in Bruce's direction, Jarvis confirming that Clint had been right about the last of the sparkly vampires being around Natasha. 

"And a pair of pants, if you have some," Bruce responded with a fatigued smile, holding the tattered remains of his slacks up around his waist as Tony dropped down next to him on the street. 

Tony wrapped a friendly arm around Banner's shoulder, his armor pleasantly warmed from the sun. "Aw, Brucey, you know how much I love seeing you without pants," he joked, his fingers finding a few ticklish spots along the other scientist's side and making Bruce flinch deeper into his embrace. 

"Don't think I won't tell Agent Genius," Clint barked over the comms. 

"So touchy this morning, what gives?" Tony asked, brows furrowed when he popped his faceplate up. Bruce leaned heavily into his side, exhaustion from his transformation beginning to fall over him like a blanket. He barely flinched when an arrow struck the ground at their feet, the shaft toting a tightly sealed pair of pants. 

"Nothing," Barton nearly snarled, beginning to make his way down from his perch. "We debriefing now or what?" Banner continued to rest his weight on the Iron Man suit as he slid into the new pair of pants that had arrived at his feet. Steve, Natasha, Thor and Sam were all gathered together in one area, the last of the vampires beginning to turn to dust underneath their boots. In the distance, the sounds of wailing sirens were heard as emergency response made their way to the scene, S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicles pulling up first. 

"Any injuries?" Steve asked, once the rest of his team was around him. Clint was a standing a few paces away from the group, his muscular arms crossed over his chest and a scowl carved into his features.

"I think we're all good, Cap," Sam commented, looking around at everyone who gave affirming nods. 

Steve nodded, pushing his cowl back and exposing his blond locks. "Good job, everyone," he said with a smile. "We can debrief after lunch. Let's head back to the Tower." 

"Sir, if I may," Jarvis chimed in Tony's ear. 

"What's up, J?" Stark questioned, lowering his faceplate once more and wrapping his arms around Bruce to get them both back home. 

"Dr. Reid landed thirty minutes ago and was picked up by Mr. Hogan at the airstrip. They are currently pulling into the underground parking garage at the Tower," the AI explained. 

"Is it that late already?" Stark wondered. 

"Indeed, Sir," Jarvis intoned dryly. 

"Well, then let's hurry up and get home. I've got a date," Tony beamed. "Hold on tight, Bruce-tastic," he said over the team channel. "I've got a _Boo_ to get to." 

Clint's bellow of "STARK!" followed the two Avengers on the way back home, Tony's laughter filling the space of his helmet.

\--

\--

Tony lowered Bruce carefully down onto the balcony, his science partner watching as he landed on the ramp that began to disassemble the suit from around him. Stark was slightly damp with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead before he slid his fingers in it and made it stand on end. Banner bit back a smile as he watched his friend, whose face was covered with a large smile and his brown eyes bright.

"Looking good, Tony," Bruce commented with a playful grin. 

"Back at you, Banner," Tony shot in return, stepping off the gangway. "Remind me to steal all your shirts."

"I'll make sure to get right on that," Bruce responded with a truly enviable eye roll. Tony fell in step beside the other man and the two made their way through the glass patio doors that Jarvis helpfully opened, stepping into the common room that the team gathered in. The glass doors stayed open for Thor and Sam, who were not far behind. Steve, Natasha and Clint would be arriving last, after making sure that the media was handled and that S.H.I.E.L.D was executing clean-up. 

"I've directed Dr. Reid to your room so that he may deposit his bag and freshen up. He should be arriving shortly," Jarvis said. 

"Perfect," Tony smiled as he made his way across the room towards the kitchen. "Want any coffee?" he called over his shoulder to Bruce. The other Avenger settled in one of the plush recliners that was situated in front of the television. Jarvis flicked the set on and changed to one of the news channels that was reporting on this morning's attack. Steve was on the screen, addressing the many reporters that were crowded desperately in front of him. In the background, S.H.I.E.L.D agents were scrambling to collect a few samples of the dust that the vampires had turned into to take back to their labs to analyze. 

"Some tea would be great," Bruce answered, tugging the blanket from the back of the chair around his body. Clint had draped the soft piece of fabric over the back when he had noticed that it was Bruce's preferred seat both after missions and during the time the team spent relaxing together. 

"You got it," Tony responded from the kitchen. The cabinets opened and closed from the other room, the sound of Stark bustling about making tea and coffee mixing with the reporter's droning voice and lulling Bruce into a half-aware doze. 

Outside on the balcony, Thor landed heavily with Sam gliding in next to him, both buzzing with adrenaline from their flight. The god clapped Bruce on the shoulder once he was inside the room, his teammate barely flinching as the bone-deep exhaustion threatened to pull him down into sleep. "Coffee!" Thor nearly cheered as the smell drifted from the kitchen and began to fill up the space. Sam made his way quietly into the area so that Banner could rest, the doors closing silently behind him as he made himself comfortable on the large couch that was in the room. 

Tony poked his head out from the other room. "Hey there, Static King. Want a cup?" 

"That would be most appreciated, thank you," the blond smiled, flopping next to Sam on the couch. Stark quirked an eyebrow toward Wilson, who shook his head in the negative before turning his attention back to the television. 

The inventor reappeared a few minutes later and handed Thor a large mug of coffee, placing Bruce's tea on the table in front of the couch before disappearing back into the kitchen to grab two more cups. The elevator doors opened just as he reemerged, brown eyes focusing on Spencer Reid as the younger man stepped out of the car. Tony immediately changed direction, his feet carrying him coffee and all straight towards the FBI agent. 

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" he breathed, running his gaze up and down the man in front of him. Spencer was dressed in a pair of dark colored jeans and a pale green button up shirt, a dark brown vest and jacket combination matching his well worn Converse. 

"Tony," Spencer smiled, his hazel eyes crinkling with the joyful expression. 

"Hey there, Dr. Reid," Stark answered, leaning forward and placing his lips against the other man's. Spencer's hands came up to rest on Tony's hips, the bones fitting perfectly in the palms of his hands. The hero wished that he had thought to drop off the mugs of coffee on the table behind them so that he had the use of his hands. 

"Get a room," Sam called out. Bruce had finally succumbed to sleep, his head tilted back on the chair and his lips lightly parted as his tea went cold on the coffee table in front of him. Sam had grabbed the remote and was flipping rapidly through the channels as Thor finished off his beverage with a happy sigh.

"Don't mind if we do," Tony said haughtily as he separated from their kiss. "What do you say? Want to join me in a shower?" he purred, looking at Reid through lowered lashes. Spencer went red, swallowing heavily as he was faced with the enticing picture that Tony presented him. 

"At least give him his coffee before you try and take his pants off," Wilson smirked. 

"Why are you in my Tower?" Tony groused, holding one of the coffee cups towards Spencer, who took it with a grateful smile. 

"I happen to live here, thank you very much," Falcon replied. 

"What a mistake that was. You're all evicted!" Tony hollered. Bruce snorted, one eye peeking open and quickly sweeping the room for threats before closing once more. 

Spencer was still smiling as he took a sip from the perfectly prepared coffee that had been given to him. It had been a few weeks since the FBI agent had been able to make it to New York for a visit, but Tony made sure to cruise over in his suit as often as both of their schedules allowed. If anyone had told the young genius two months ago that he would end up in the arms of Tony Stark while working a case with the Avengers, he would not have been able to stop himself from laughing. Now, nightly phone calls and rambling text messages were part of his everyday life and he hoped that they would continue to be for a long time to come. 

"Well, it looks like you've ruined all my fun," a silky voice purred, interrupting the banter that Sam and Tony had been flinging back and forth. 

"Brother!" Thor said loudly as he caught sight of his sibling, his tall form draped in emerald green and gold. Sam vaulted over the back of the couch and Bruce launched himself out of his seat, eyes wild as he was pulled abruptly from sleep. Tony positioned himself so that was firmly in-between Spencer and the other Asgardian, his brown eyes narrowed in anger. 

"Get out," Stark commanded, his voice cold. 

"Now, that's not very welcoming," Loki smirked. "I would have thought that you had been raised better than that." 

"Loki, what is the meaning of your presence here on Midgard?" Thor demanded, his thick eyebrows pulled together in a frown. 

The darker god sighed heavily as if his brother's words pained him, his eyes falling closed as he gave a shrug. "Just a little mischief," he answered, poison-hued eyes re-opening and taking in the group assembled around him. "There was no harm done. Those creatures are no match for the likes of the Avengers." 

"Loki," Thor growled, his gaze filling with rage. "Your mischief could have cost the lives of innocent people." 

"Thor, you have such a flair for the dramatics," Loki huffed, taking a few steps deeper into the room. The Avengers shifted nervously, eyes focused on the unpredictable man in front of them. 

"Brother, you have wreaked enough mischief. Return to Asgard," the lightning god demanded. 

Loki laughed. "There is never such a thing as enough mischief." His cold eyes landed on Reid. "And what have we here? A new team member?" The agent couldn't help but flinch; in his years at the Bureau, he had stared down many killers, but there was something about this other worldly being that sent dread coursing through his body. 

"He's none of your business," Tony barked, reaching back behind him until his hand connected with Spencer's hip, which he gripped tightly. 

"Ah," the god of mischief said lowly, a cruel smirk sliding it's way across his face. "I see. Not a teammate, then." Stark tensed. 

Thor stepped towards Loki. "Brother - ," 

"Stop your prattling, Thor!" the dark-haired man snapped, his face contorted into a look of rage. "I have heard enough of your voice! I no longer wish to hear your worthless pleas for me to return to Asgard!" 

"Loki, please!" Thor tried again, but the other god ignored him and turned his attention back to Reid. 

"Why don't I show you what it's like to be part of this team?" Loki said, his angry tone gone and replaced by a smooth, silky timbre. 

"Don't you dare," Tony snarled. Bruce growled, green seeping into the skin around his eyes. 

Another dark laugh escaped Loki as he raised his hands, light already sparking between his palms. Thor dove for the other man, but the illusion disappeared as soon as he touched it and he soared through the air, crashing heavily into the ground with a painfully solid thud. Sam cursed loudly and the rest of the group tried to figure out where the god truly was. 

"Surprise," Loki whispered into Spencer's ear, his tall form pressed tightly against his back. The agent's honey colored eyes went huge and a choked sound escaped his lips before he screamed, Loki's hands on either side of his head crackling with magic and sending agony ripping across his nerves. 

"No!" Tony shouted as he spun around, taking in the horrible sight of Reid's pain suffused face as his body desperately tried to arch away from the manic Asgardian that held him hostage. Bruce and Thor; who was just stumbling to his feet; both roared. 

The sound of an arrow cutting through the air sounded suddenly around them, Loki grunting in pain as it pierced his armor and lodged solidly in his side. He released Spencer, who collapsed to the ground like a puppet who's strings had been cut, his lanky form crumpled at the god's feet. Loki sneered over at the vent that Clint was half-hanging out of, another arrow nocked and ready to be released, before he disappeared in a cloud of green smoke. Barton lowered his bow and dropped to the floor just as the elevator opened, Steve and Natasha rushing out of the car and taking in the scene in front of them. 

"Jarvis alerted us to the situation on our phones," the Captain explained, hurrying over to where Tony was crouched next to Spencer. The agent's hair was wild, the tawny curls spread out against the white marble of the floor in a sharp spill of color. 

"J, you with us again?" Tony asked as his hands hovered uncertainly over Spencer's prone form. 

"I am, Sir. I apologize, there was nothing more that I could do. The magic - ," 

"I know," Tony soothed his A.I. "The magic jams your system. But you did good, Jarvis. Thank you." 

"Sir . . ." Jarvis said quietly. The rest of the team could easily hear the disappointment Jarvis' tone held, the A.I. upset at his perceived failure to his creator. 

Clint paused next to Thor, who was staring down sadly at the three men on the floor. Although he had only met the agent a few times since the case that had originally brought him to New York, he saw how important he was to Tony and had grown quite fond of Reid himself. The doctor was brilliant and intriguing, but at times also easily embarrassed and almost uncomfortable in his own skin. 

"So . . ." the archer drawled, peering at the god with his peripherals. "You really need to stop falling for that trick." 

"Aye," Thor agreed gravely. "These illusions will be the end of me." 

"What do you think, Thor?" Natasha cut in, her arms crossed over her chest. "Have you seen that spell before?" 

"I have not," Thor said softly, regretfully. "Loki has many tricks, most of which he has kept to himself." 

"He may be crazy, but he's not an idiot," Bruce commented. His clothes looked like they were a little looser than they had been after the battle, his pants hanging a little lower than normal. His face was pale and drawn, his exhaustion even heavier after having furiously fought off a second transformation. 

Clint disappeared from Thor's side and appeared at Banner's after stopping to scoop up the hastily discarded blanket the scientist had been using before the attack. Bruce murmured his appreciation as the archer draped the soft, plush fabric around his shoulders. 

"Spencer," Tony whispered, brushing away a few tendrils that had fallen across the younger man's face. "Spencer, can you hear me?" The agent mewled slightly, his eyes squeezing as if still in pain. 

"Dr. Reid," Steve began, pulling off his gloves and laying them down on the face of his shield, which was resting next to him. "Does anything hurt?" 

"M-my head," Spencer answered lowly, rolling from his side onto his back and hissing loudly when his spine came in contact with the marble. "And my back." 

Tony caressed the agent's cheek tenderly with his fingertips. "Your back, huh? I guess I'll just have to give you one of my famous massages then," the engineer joked. 

"Since when do you know massage?" Natasha questioned. 

"No comments from the red-headed peanut gallery," Stark shot back. The agent rolled her eyes, but she kept silent. 

"Do you think you can stand?" Steve asked. 

Reid opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times as he took inventory of the aches that he was feeling. "Yeah," he answered. "I think so." Tony and Steve both offered him a hand and he clasped each one, allowing the two heroes to assist him to his feet. They hovered for a few moments to make sure that he wasn't going to stumble, but Reid was steady on his feet so Steve stepped back a few paces. 

"Maybe whatever spell Loki used didn't work," the soldier said optimistically. 

"Oh, it worked alright," Clint intoned. His eyes were locked onto the top of Spencer's head, but his face was a stoic mask that gave nothing away about what he was seeing. The rest of the team turned to look at what had caught his attention. 

"Well. That's not something you have everyday," Tony remarked. 

"What is it?" Spencer asked timidly, lifting his eyes, even though he knew that he would not be able to see the top of his head without a mirror. Reaching up, he hesitantly began feeling through his curls, nervous about what he would find. 

Nestled among the locks atop his head were two perfect feline ears, the triangular shapes covered in downy fur that tickled against the pads of Reid's fingers as he carefully explored them. The ears twitched at his touch, swiveling and flicking wildly. "What . . .?" he breathed, his face rapidly becoming pale with shock. 

"Hey, hey," Tony said calmly, wrapping a strong arm around his distressed partner. Spencer sagged heavily against him, his breath escaping him in a shaky exhale. "Don't panic. We'll figure this out and have you back to normal in no time." 

"I . . . I think I need to sit down," Reid said faintly, trying to prevent his knees from buckling underneath him. 

"Why don't we go take a nap while Steve and Jarvis call Agent McMuscles and arrange for him to make a trip out here?" Tony suggested, steering Spencer towards the elevator, which opened as they approached. 

"Derek?" Spencer asked, confused. "Why . . .?" 

"Don't worry about that right now," Tony said, glancing over his shoulder at Steve, who nodded firmly in return. "Let's just focus on that nap." 

"Jarvis," the two heard Steve speak behind them. "Will you please dial Derek's number?" 

"Of course, Captain Rogers," the A.I. responded, just as the elevator doors closed and the car began to rise, taking them up towards Tony's penthouse apartment.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi looked up from the files spread out in front of them as Derek Morgan barged his way unceremoniously into the conference room. In one hand he held his cell phone in a death grip, the two older profilers almost able to hear the plastic casing creaking in protest. Derek's expressive brows were pulled together in a deep frown and his eyes were troubled. 

"What's wrong, Morgan?" Hotch asked, his pen poised above the paper that he had been writing on. He and Dave were working on some reports that were overdue, but that had been pushed aside because of their recently heavy caseload. The two could see the rest of the team, including Garcia, trying to eavesdrop surreptitiously from the bullpen. 

"There's some trouble in New York. With Reid," the dark-skinned man answered, his voice tight. 

Hotchner and Rossi were instantly on their feet. "What kind of trouble? Is he hurt?" the unit chief demanded to know. 

"I . . . don't know how to answer either of those questions," Morgan answered truthfully. 

"What do you mean?" Rossi asked, a frown marring his own features. "Who did you talk to?" 

"I talked to Steve," the younger agent began to explain. "He said that there had been some trouble at the Tower and Reid was caught in the crossfire. They want me to get out there as soon as possible. Jarvis is already sending one of Stark's jets." 

Rossi shook his head. "Sounds serious," he said lowly. 

"I'll have another team put on call," Hotch said, slipping papers back into their folders and beginning to gather the files together. "Call Steve, ask if there is room for all of us on the jet." Derek nodded, his attention already on his phone before the other man had even finished speaking. 

Hotch turned to Dave. "I'll go talk to Strauss. Will you let the team know?" he questioned. Rossi nodded and strode purposefully from the room, making his way down to the rest of his team who were now blatantly staring. 

Morgan turned his focus back onto Hotch. "Steve says that there is more than enough room for the rest of the team on the jet and that we're all more than welcome to stay at the Tower." 

"Perfect," Hotch said. He reached for his briefcase and placed the files neatly inside. 

"Stark's plane should be arriving at the airstrip in a little over an hour," Derek said, trailing after Hotch as the man left the room and began heading for Strauss' office. 

"That should be enough time for us to tie up any loose ends here before we head out," Hotch theorized. Morgan nodded and the two parted ways; Hotch making his way towards Strauss and Derek tromping down the stairs over to Dave and the others. 

"We have an hour," he stated simply. 

"Where are we meeting?" Jennifer Jareau asked, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders in soft looking waves. 

"The airstrip. Stark is sending a jet to pick us up," Derek answered. 

"We'll be there," Prentiss confirmed and everyone but Penelope dispersed. The tech stared at the man in front of her with huge eyes, her hands clutched together and her painted lips turned down in a frown. 

"Is my Junior G-Man okay?" she asked, voice pitched high with worry. 

Derek sighed heavily. "I don't know, Baby Girl," he said. "I don't have much information." He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze. "Get your go bag. I'll see you in an hour."

\--

\--

By the time the FBI team landed in New York, night was beginning to fall over the city. Happy Hogan was waiting for them on the tarmac, the trunk of the limo popped and the door to the back sitting open in welcome. "It's good to see you again," the man said, shaking Hotch's hand. "Even if it is under less than ideal circumstances."

"Nice to see you too, Happy," Hotchner answered. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about what's happened, would you?" 

"Sorry, sir. Not a thing," Happy said apologetically. The rest of the team looked disappointed, but helped him load the trunk so that they could be on their way to the Tower. 

"How bad do you think it is?" Prentiss asked tensely. 

"I'm sure it's serious, but if it was something fatal I'm sure Steve would have told us," Rossi answered. Hotch and Derek nodded in agreement. 

"Our little genius is always up to trouble, isn't he?" Garcia said, her tone fond even as she gripped Morgan's hand tightly in hers. 

"He does seem to attract it," JJ agreed. 

Rossi settled deeper into the leather seats. "Keeps our lives interesting," he said. 

"If this is interesting, I could be content with a boring life," Hotch deadpanned. 

"Me, too," Derek agreed darkly.

\--

\--

The elevator doors slid open and the team piled out, once more finding themselves standing in the communal floor of the Avengers residence.

"Hotchner and Company," Tony said from the couch. He rose from his seat and made his way over to the group, shaking hands and giving hugs in greeting. Thor, Sam and Natasha were also spread about the room and they waved towards the agents. 

"Thank you all for coming," Steve said as he, too, made his way over to everyone. Derek pulled him in for a lingering kiss after he had said hello to the others, tucking him against his side and clutching the soldier tightly. Rogers rubbed his lover's back soothingly. 

"Where's Reid?" he asked briskly. 

"Downstairs with Bruce having some tests done," Stark answered. "They should be up in about a half hour." He turned, tucking his hands into his pockets and beginning to make his way back over to the couch. "Have a seat. We can order some pizza or something while we wait." 

"We can't see him?" Garcia questioned. 

"It would be better for everyone if we all stayed up here," Steve explained. "Tony pushed a few too many of Bruce's buttons, so he was kicked out. Clint is down there, but he's the only one that Bruce wants in the lab right now. Besides Spencer, of course."

"Bruce just didn't have a long enough nap today," Tony grumbled. He was clearly disgruntled at having been ejected from the lab by a man he considered one of his closest friends, as well as irritated that he could not be with his distressed partner. 

Steve rolled his eyes. "Jarvis," he called. 

"Yes, Captain?" the A.I. answered immediately. Penelope's eyes became huge; she had heard about the Artificial Intelligence from the rest of her team, but this was her first encounter with it in person. The others watched in some amusement as she began to nearly tremble with excitement. 

"Are the rooms ready for everyone?" the blond continued. 

"Indeed, Captain Rogers. Everyone has the rooms that they did last time they stayed with us. Ms. Garcia's room is also prepared," Jarvis confirmed. 

Steve turned his attention to those around him. "Why doesn't everyone drop off their bags and then come back up? Tony's pizza idea sounded like a good thing to do while we wait for Bruce and Dr. Reid." Derek pressed a brief kiss against the man's temple, inhaling the clean, crisp smells of soap and shampoo as Hotch and the others agreed to the captain's suggestion. 

"Tony," Rossi called as they turned back towards the elevator. Steve would remain in the common room with the other members of his team, Derek a temptation that he did not think he would be strong enough to resist. "Another glass of that scotch wouldn't be remiss." 

"I always knew you were my favorite," the engineer shouted back as they disappeared into the elevator. He stood once more from the couch and made his way over to the bar. "Who wants a drink? I'm buying."

\--

\--

Spencer, Bruce and Clint made their entrance from the lab after a few boxes of pizza had already been devoured by the gathered teams, who were currently camped out on plush couches and watching a movie filled with explosions. Steve turned his head to look at the three of them as they approached from the elevator, his movement garnering the attention of the rest of the people around him. Tony instantly vacated his position on the couch and made his way over to Spencer's side.

Derek rose to his feet, his dark eyes locked on the new appendages that were visible within his friend's messy curls. The rest of Reid's team were also staring, unsure of what exactly is was that they were seeing. 

"How were the tests?" Sam asked as he tried to the ignore the tension that was polluting the room. 

"They went well," Bruce answered, removing his glasses from their perch on his nose and fiddling with the arms as he continued to speak. "From what I can see, the new . . . accessories . . . that Spencer has are wired into his nervous system, so they move and can feel sensation, but they aren't actually functional." 

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked. The ears on Spencer's head twitched and quivered. The young genius looked like he was barely pushing down his urge to fidget with the movement.

"The ears don't actually receive sound," Bruce explained. "Spencer still hears with his human ears and the tail -," 

"Tail?!" Penelope squeaked, her hands clapped over her mouth and her eyes round behind her glasses. Spencer couldn't tell if her look was one of concern or excitement. 

Bruce nodded and gave the tech a slight smile, as he slid his glasses back onto his face. "There is a tail in addition to the ears. It was why his lower back was in pain after Loki's attack, even though it didn't appear right away like the ears did," the scientist continued addressing those gathered in front of him. "The tail doesn't seem to hinder his balance, but I can't be sure if it helps since I don't have a baseline on Reid's balance from before the spell." Spencer suddenly squeaked, lifting up onto his toes as his body jolted slightly. 

"What's wrong?" Derek questioned urgently. 

"Tony!" the younger genius cried out, jumping away from the inventor and nearly colliding with Bruce and Clint. The archer wrapped a steadying arm around Banner's back and Bruce rested his hands on the agent's shoulders, trying to keep him upright.

"So much for balance," Rossi commented with a smirk from where he was seated. 

"Sorry, sorry," Tony said with a playful smile. "I just couldn't resist. Your tail is so appealing." 

"I didn't need to hear that," Sam grumbled. 

"I did," Penelope countered breathlessly. 

"Is there any idea of how to get Spencer back to normal?" Hotch asked, looking over at his youngest teammate, who was shooting Tony angry looks. The unit chief was surprised that Spencer wasn't hissing; at the moment, he was certainly the embodiment of a disgruntled and aggravated feline.

Bruce shook his head. "When dealing with these types of things, the only hint we'll get about reverting things back to normal is from the spell caster." 

"Which means we need to find Loki," Steve finished, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"That's right," Bruce confirmed. Clint, who had yet to remove his arm from around his back, ran his fingertips soothingly up and down the man's bicep. 

"I shall start my search tomorrow," Thor rumbled, a dark look splashed across his features. "My brother should not be far. He will want to witness the havoc that his spell has caused." 

"Please don't say havoc," JJ requested faintly. She was still gazing at Spencer, her blue eyes not only taking in the new ears, but also making sure that the rest of him was undamaged. 

Thor nodded at her. "I apologize," he murmured. 

"You said that the tail didn't show up until later," Prentiss said, leaning her elbows on her knees and looking over at the group of men. "Does that mean that Spencer might get even more characteristics of a cat?" 

"We won't know for sure until more time has gone by," Bruce responded. "I'm sorry that there's not much more I can give you." 

"You did great, Bruce," Steve reassured, sending his friend a smile. 

"Do you know what kind of cat those ears belong to?" JJ asked curiously. 

"I think they're part of the Lynx family," Banner answered. "Most likely a bobcat, specifically." 

Penelope, unable to stop herself any longer, finally hurried forward, her heels clicking loudly against the marble floor and her jewelry jangling with her movements. Bruce and Clint both backed up a few steps, allowing the tech to plow into her teammate and wrap him in a tight embrace. Spencer's own arms slid around her waist and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, taking in the scent of her perfume and feeling her earrings brush against his cheek. "I'm so glad you're okay," the blonde said. "We're so glad you're okay."

"I'm sorry that you all rushed out here. I would have been fine with Tony and the others," Spencer mumbled. 

Penelope gave him a smack on his shoulder. "Hush. You should know by now that we won't let you do anything without us. We're family."

"Thanks," Spencer said softly as he pulled away from the hug. Garcia stared at him for a few moments before she cooed and cupped his face between her hands. 

"You're adorable!" she squealed. 

"Garcia . . ." Hotch warned. 

"I know, I know," the blonde said, looking over her shoulder at her boss for a quick moment before turning back to Reid. "But I can't help it. Look at him!" Spencer flushed. Penelope took pity on him and dropped her hands from his cheeks. 

Derek made his way over to the duo, resting his hand heavily on the younger man's shoulder and pinning him with a worried stare. "I'm fine," Spencer reassured his friend. "I promise."

"Alright," Morgan said after a moment. He lifted his hand from it's resting place on the other's shoulder and poked at one of the ears, which quivered and swiveled in response. "Looking good, Pretty Boy." Spencer batted the other agent's hand away, his nose wrinkling and a huff escaping him as he narrowed his eyes in a glare. 

"It's been a long day and tomorrow will be an even longer one," Hotch cut in. Steve nodded in agreement and rose to his feet. 

"We'll start looking for Loki first thing in the morning," the captain said. He raised a finger towards Thor, who had just opened his mouth to protest. "Don't fight us, Thor. This isn't something that you have to do alone. We're going to help you." 

Thor nodded. "Thank you," he said solemnly. "Your help is appreciated." 

"Phil gets in tonight. I'll debrief him on what's happening," Clint said. The others noticed that his arm was still wrapped around Bruce, cradling the other man against his side as Banner leaned into him. 

"I bet you'll debrief him," Tony muttered, leaning forward to speak into Spencer's ear. The agent couldn't help the embarrassed grin that spread over his face. 

"I heard that, Stark. Sleep with one eye open," Clint stated simply. 

"I always have one eye open. And it's name happens to be Jarvis," Stark said smugly. 

"I'm flattered, Sir," Jarvis sounded. 

"Besides, you wouldn't do anything. Not with Spencer in my bed," Tony countered, wrapping himself around his partner and nuzzling against his cheek. 

"Spencer won't be here forever," Clint shot back. 

"He will be if I have anything to say about it," Tony responded. 

"Not if I have anything to say," Derek intruded. 

"What about what _I_ want to say?" Reid asked. 

" _Shh_! Let them fight over you!" Garcia commanded. 

"I don't think that's exactly what is going on," Prentiss corrected. 

"It is in my fantasy," Penelope said. 

Sam slapped his hands on his knees and shot up from the couch. "And on that note, I'm going to bed. It was nice meeting everyone, I'll see you all in the morning." He waved over his shoulder as he made his way towards the elevator, which Jarvis helpfully opened as he approached and closed quickly behind him. 

Tony huffed. "That one needs to toughen up if a little fantasy comment sends him running," he said. Steve shot him a Look, which Tony responded to with a wide smile and fluttering lashes. 

"I'll start breakfast at seven," Bruce interjected before the two friends dissolved into bickering. He brushed his cheek against Clint's shoulder before pulling away from the archer. "I hope everyone sleeps well." Barton lets his fingers trail across the back of the scientist's neck as he walked away towards the elevator. His eyes trailed after the other man; focused on his form until he disappeared from view; before he turned his sharp gaze back towards the others in the room. Tony's eyebrow was quirked while Natasha wore a knowing smirk. The FBI agents were all trying to act nonchalantly, succeeding in various levels. 

"Shut up," Clint grumbled and pivoted on his heel. "See you in the morning." 

"Make sure Agent gets that bug from up your butt before we see you tomorrow," Tony called. "Maybe Bruce can help!" 

Barton merely showed him his middle finger in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google bobcats! They are so cute! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you found something about this chapter enjoyable. Please leave a comment, it means the world to me. Kudos are greatly appreciated, too. :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings** for this chapter: Budding three-way M/M/M relationship, giant chickens, silly team interactions, _50 Shades of Gray_ bashing. And Loki. (Also not beta-read)

**Chapter Three**

The next morning dawned clear and warm, the sky above the city cloudless and blue. Bruce was puttering around the kitchen, surrounded by the fragrance of coffee and the steady _thump-thump-thump_ of his knife hitting the cutting board underneath the fruit he was slicing. Rossi was in the kitchen as well, mixing ingredients into a thick batter for pancakes.

Hotch was seated at the table in the common area, an already empty mug at his elbow as he leafed through the newspaper on one of the many Stark tablets that littered the Tower. The three men were unsure when the rest of their teams would be joining them, but they didn't think that it would be much longer before the room was swarming with people. 

Bruce poked his head around the doorjamb. "Hotch, do you need more coffee?" 

Aaron smiled at the superhero. "Don't trouble yourself, I'll come get some more." 

"No trouble," Bruce countered, emerging from the kitchen with a carafe in hand. He refilled Hotch's mug and then placed the container on the table. "Rossi said you might need this." 

The unit chief gave a fond roll of his eyes. "Thanks, Dave!" he called sarcastically. 

"Anytime," Rossi answered from the kitchen. Bruce grinned and returned to the other room to help the profiler finish preparing breakfast. 

Natasha emerged from the elevator some time later, already dressed in her battle suit with her hair pulled into a tight ponytail. "Good morning," she greeted as she made her way into the kitchen. Hotch returned the sentiment with a nod, turning back to the tablet in his hands as she disappeared from view. She reappeared after a few moments with a mug that she filled from the carafe that Bruce had left on the table. 

Clint and Phil joined the group just after Bruce had finished setting the table with plates and cutlery. Both men looked relaxed, the tension that had been coiled tightly around Clint dispersed and replaced with his usual good humor. The archer poked Natasha in the shoulder as he passed by her and she launched herself after him, Clint laughing wildly as he dodged away from her punches and weaved around the furniture. 

Phil shook his head in amusement, the tiniest of smiles teasing the corners of his mouth. "She's really not much of a morning person," he explained to Hotch. "Clint likes to rile her up some days." 

"That doesn't seem like the best thing for his safety," the unit chief said slowly. Coulson said nothing, the pair just listening as Clint's shout of pain echoed around the room. 

"He never learns," Phil stated as Natasha returned to the table with a smug look on her face. Barton skulked into the kitchen, rubbing his bicep and scowling heavily. 

Bruce looked up from where he was pulling a sheet of cinnamon rolls from the oven. At the sight of Clint's expression an affectionate smile slid over his face. "Clint . . ." he started, shaking his head and placing the baked goods on the counter. 

"Yeah, yeah," the blonde muttered, making his way over to the scientist and bumping him gently with his hip. "I'm making concoctions. Rossi, you got anything against cinnamon?" 

"As long as it's not going up my nose, I'm fine," the Italian returned. 

Clint grinned. "I've _got_ to hear the story behind that," he said. 

Rossi smirked at him from over his shoulder. "There's not enough whiskey in the world to pry that one out of me, my friend." 

"Challenge accepted," Clint said gleefully. Bruce shook his head, tuning the chatter of the two men out as he started to ice the treats that he had made. 

"Morning," Steve said with a bright smile as he entered he kitchen. 

"Surprised to see you so early, Cap!" Clint crowed. "I thought Morgan would've kept you in bed for the entire day." 

"Trust me, I tried," Derek chuckled as he came up behind his partner. Steve blushed in response, but leaned into the arm that the agent wrapped around his waist. 

"Looks like you need to work on your game, Morgan," Rossi joked, turning off the burners that he had been using and sliding the prepared food onto the platters that had been laid out for him. 

"Game?! What do you know about game?" Morgan said teasingly. 

"More than you," Rossi shot back with a smirk. 

"And he has the ex-wives to prove it," Prentiss chimed in, breezing by and making a beeline for the cabinet with the coffee mugs. 

"Ouch," Clint, Rossi and Derek all said in unison. Steve and Bruce fought valiantly with the smiles that were trying to break out across their faces. Prentiss didn't hold back, her playful grin huge when she turned away from the coffee maker with two full mugs in hand. 

"I couldn't resist," the woman said with a nonchalant shrug. 

"I noticed," Dave said dryly. Emily gave him a cheeky wink and swept out of the room. 

"She's fun," Clint commented, turning back to the space that he was working at. 

"She can be," Morgan agreed. He pressed a tender kiss to Steve's temple. "Coffee?" 

"Milk," the blond countered with a smile. 

"I don't think your bones can get any stronger than they already are, Cap," Clint said. 

Rogers rolled his eyes good naturedly at his teammate's back. Derek let out another few chuckles and playfully pinched the soldier's side. "Milk it is," he said. 

"Cinnamon rolls are done," Bruce said, setting aside the bowl of icing that he had been using and beginning to plate the pastries so that they could be taken into the other room. 

"I'm all done over here," Rossi added. Steve made his way over to the older profiler, hefting up the two platters; one heaped with perfectly golden pancakes and the other filled with eggs and bacon; and made his way into the dining room. Rossi followed behind with the large bowl of fruit that Bruce had cut up and Morgan drifted out after him, holding in his hands a tall glass of milk along with a steaming mug of coffee. 

"Hey," Clint called to Bruce before the curly haired man could exit the kitchen. "Come 'ere for a sec." 

"Hmm?" Bruce questioned as he made his way over to the archer, his hands weighed down by the large tray of cinnamon rolls. 

"Closer," Clint requested. He wasn't looking at the scientist, his eyes focused on the work that his hands were doing. Bruce hummed in curiosity once more, leaning over the other's shoulder so that he could see what Clint was doing. He got a glimpse of multiple cups filled with coffee, squares of chocolate and a bottle of cinnamon before his vision was filled with Clint's piercing eyes and chapped lips were pressing against his own. 

Barton lingered in their kiss, feeling the hitch in the other man's breath and the heat from the sudden flush that flooded Bruce's face. He pulled away slowly. "Good morning," he murmured huskily. 

"Clint," Bruce whispered breathlessly, his eyes opening slowly behind his glasses. Barton brushed his nose against Banner's cheek before turning back to his work. 

"Go on out and get some food. I'll be finished in a bit," he instructed. The scientist nodded dazedly, turned around and made his way into the adjoining room. 

Phil appeared in the doorway after a few moments. "Did I break him?" Clint asked quietly. Coulson made his way over to his partner, propping his back up against the counter and crossing his arms across his chest. 

"I'd say that the enamored smile on his face means that you didn't," he returned. 

Clint paused. "Really?"

"Really," Phil confirmed. Barton beamed and Coulson chuckled lovingly. 

"Can I help with anything?" the older man questioned. 

"Sure," Clint said. "Grab some more mugs."

\--

\--

"Jarvis, is there a location in the city that you notice any interference?" Steve asked, looking towards the ceiling. The group had finished breakfast and were sitting around the table, discussing what should be their first step in catching Loki.

"There is no interference that I can detect," Jarvis responded regretfully. 

"He must not currently be using any magic," Natasha commented. "Jarvis, run facial recognition, please." 

Jarvis gave the affirmative and Hotchner turned to address the thunder god. "Thor, you have no way of contacting your brother?" 

"I do not," Thor replied despondently. "Loki is quite adept at hiding and subterfuge. When he does not want to be found, he won't be." 

Tony shook his head. "He'll be found. You said it last night; he'll want to see us scrambling." 

"I have to agree," Phil said. "Loki will want to be witness to this." 

Garcia was fidgeting wildly in her chair, her bright yellow jewelry clinking with her movements. "How are we going to catch him, anyway?" she blurted out. 

"I will have to subdue him and bring him back here to the Tower," Thor said gravely. 

"Looks like we'll have a fight on our hands, then," Steve sighed. "Loki won't come easily." 

"That's for sure," Clint said darkly. 

"Sir," Jarvis cut in. "I'm am running into some ---- chickens." 

"Chickens?" Derek parroted. 

"Jarvis, pull up a map of the city! Cross reference it with where you're running into trouble!" Tony commanded. 

"Loki must have used some magic and it scrambled Jarvis," Natasha explained, her body tensing. "If we can find out where Jarvis ran into the problem, we can get a general vicinity of where Loki is." 

Tony cursed, his hands flying over the holographic keyboard that had popped into life in front of him. Spencer was tense at his side, the pointed ears atop his head stiff and quivering. 

"What do we got?" Derek asked. 

"Chickens," Tony answered tersely. 

"Chickens?" JJ repeated, her face the picture of confusion. 

"T.V. on," Sam stated. The television flickered to life, the news popping up and showing shaky footage of giant chickens hustling down one of the busy New York streets. 

Prentiss gaped. "There's actual chickens," she breathed in disbelief. 

"How did reporters get there so quickly?" Sam asked incredulously.

"You with us, J?" Tony questioned. 

"Feathers, bird seed, chickens, _ba-cock_!" Jarvis replied. 

"That would be a no," Tony muttered. "Loki jumbled you up good. He knew that we'd try and use Jarvis to track him." 

" _AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!_ " 

"To corral some _chickens_?!" Tony snapped. "We've got more important fish to fry here. Send another superhero team. Have Fury go out and do something himself for a change. Hell, send McDonalds!" 

Coulson barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Stark's comments. "Sam, Natasha, Thor, head out and deal with the chickens," Phil instructed. 

Thor frowned deeply. "I should be here to assist with my brother," he rumbled. 

"We need a heavy hitter out there," Coulson said, shaking his head. "The three of you will be able to take care of this situation quickly." 

"Let's go," Natasha commanded, grabbing the god's arm and giving it a tug. The three assigned to the chicken debacle departed from the room quickly. 

Coulson turned back to the rest of the people gathered around the table. "The rest of you get ready to divide up the city and begin a manual search. I have a feeling any electronic means of searching for Loki will be booby-trapped." 

"I hate hide and seek," Clint snarled. 

"You and me both," Rossi agreed. 

"Agent Hotchner, you and your team are to remain here at the Tower," Coulson said. 

"I think that my team and I would be of value to the search," Hotch disputed tensely. 

"You would be, yes," Phil agreed. "But we don't know if Loki will decide to target the rest of you as well. I can't have all of you running around the city with cat ears and a tail." 

"I can't pull off the look like Pretty Boy can," Derek said. The young genius shot his friend a petulant look. 

"It would be best if you stayed here," Coulson finished. 

"Should we at least help with the chickens?" Garcia questioned timidly. 

Phil gave her a small smile. "The three out there have the chickens covered." 

"He's close by," Bruce said, standing shoulder to shoulder with Tony and staring at the map the inventor was manipulating. "Jarvis ran into the problem early on in his systematic sweep of the city." Banner pointed to the area that Tony had highlighted as his best assumption of where Loki might be lurking. 

Steve nodded firmly. "Suit up," he said. "We leave in ten."

\--

\--

A smirk crawled across Loki's face as he watched the group of heroes arrive and begin to converge on his position. Iron Man was the first, landing loudly on the other side of the gate with fists clenched and the glowing eyes of the suit locked onto the god. A black van skidded to a halt a few seconds later, Captain America and Hawkeye piling out quickly from the back and taking position around their teammate.

"You Midgardians have such an interesting concept of literature," Loki said silkily, flipping his book closed onto his thumb and flashing the cover at the Avengers. He was dressed handsomely in a perfectly tailored suit, the jacket draped over the back of his seat and showing the unbuttoned vest over a pressed shirt that had the top few buttons undone. He was seated on the outdoor patio of a popular cafe, his legs crossed at the knee and a half-eaten fruit tart sitting on a small plate on the table. Loki took a delicate sip from his steaming mug of tea as two of the men around him stared at the book in horror. 

The face plate of the Iron Man suit flipped open, revealing the terror infused countenance of the person inside. "Please tell me I'm seeing things," Tony requested weakly. 

"My eyes say you're not," Clint muttered in disgust as he looked at the cover of _50 Shades of Gray_. Steve said nothing, but he made a note to ask the others about the book once they got back home. 

The seated man gave them a sinister grin. "And why is the obnoxious thunderer not with you today?" he queried, reopening his book and turning his attention back to its pages nonchalantly. 

"He happens to be fighting _your_ chickens!" Clint snapped. 

Loki chuckled. "Ah, yes. The chickens. I have thought that New York could use a little more wild life." 

"We have enough wild life," Tony rebuffed. "Haven't you seen the streets after the clubs let out at night?" 

"Your quips are not as amusing as you like to think they are, Stark," Loki said darkly. 

"They're plenty amusing," the engineer countered. Steve placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, reigning him in from provoking the god even more. 

"Loki, you need to come with us," the soldier said sternly, lowering his hand from Tony's shoulder and clenching it into a fist at his side. "Peacefully." 

The Asgardian opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Thor's explosive arrival with Mjolnir. "LOKI!" the god bellowed as he stomped his way over to his gathered teammates. His armor was dusted with feathers, some even sticking haphazardly out of his blond locks. Natasha and Sam weren't far behind, gliding onto the scene and hurrying towards the group. They were also covered in feathers, but otherwise looked unharmed. 

"Hello, Thor," Loki said dully, turning another page in the novel grasped in his slender fingered hands. The patrons that were still lingering in the cafe were watching the scene in a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, some even holding up their cell phones to try and record what was happening. 

"Loki, enough of this madness!" Thor said, his voice filled with anger and reverberating around the street. 

"Or what?" the darker god demanded maliciously. "Will you run and tell father? He cares not of what happens to the pathetic creatures of this planet." 

"Watch who you're callin' pathetic," Clint growled, his bow out and an arrow loosely nocked. 

Loki turned his cold eyes onto the archer. "My apologies," he said lowly, finally closing his book and placing it on the table next to his forgotten dessert and beverage. "You are certainly not pathetic are you, my Hawk?" Both Natasha and Steve went rigid and edged closer to Barton, their protective instincts flaring up in defense of the potential threat underlying those words. 

"Hey," Tony barked, his own face pinched in anger as he took a single menacing step forward and inserted himself between Clint and the god that had caused him so much torment. "Eyes elsewhere, Tinkerbell." 

"Brother, you will accompany us back to the Tower and return Spencer Reid to his rightful state," Thor commanded. 

Loki rose from his seat, ignoring the heroes as he took his jacket from the back of the chair and slid his arms into the sleeves. "You have wasted your time," he started, straightening his lapels and pulling his shirt cuffs until they were comfortable. "I will not be going anywhere with you." 

"You don't have a choice in that matter," Sam said firmly. The god just gave a mocking chuckle in return. 

"Of course I don't," he said sarcastically. "Until next time." 

"Loki - !" Thor shouted, reaching for his brother, but the other man disappeared in a blinding flash of light. 

Clint shouted in aggravation, sliding his arrow back into his quiver as he stalked angrily back towards the van. Steve pushed his cowl back with a heavy sigh and Tony was nearly vibrating with rage. 

"We had him," the inventor ground out between clenched teeth. 

"We shoulda known it wouldn't be that easy," Steve said, turning around and beginning to trek back to the vehicle. Coulson had emerged from behind the wheel and Bruce was sitting in the seat next to the open sliding side door, his shoes poking over the edge and his elbows resting on his knees. The two men were trying to soothe Clint, who was removing his equipment with jerky motions. 

"He wants to play," Natasha said darkly. 

"'Until next time'," Sam quoted, trailing after the others.

"Next time will be the last," Stark growled. His face plate dropped, hiding the anger and distress that covered his features as he turned away. "I'll meet you back at the Tower." 

"Tony - ," Steve began, but the man ignored him and took a few running steps before launching himself into the sky. The Captain watched after him as he flew further away, a streak of red and gold against the blue. 

"C'mon," Sam said, clapping a hand onto Rogers' shoulder. "Let him cool off with a flight. We'll see him back at home." The patrons of the cafe were still taking video and pictures behind them, chattering on about what they had seen and making speculations on what sort of trouble had brought the Avengers out this time. 

"Yeah," Steve said after a moment, letting the other man guide him over to the vehicle. "Yeah."

\--

\--

Spencer looked up as the sound of repulsors entered the air. He watched as Tony came arcing closer to the Tower, his suit a vibrant splash against the backdrop of the city. The agent was seated on one of the lounge chairs that Clint had installed on the patio when he had moved in, a book held open on his lap as he luxuriated in the feel of the sun beaming down on him.

The armor slowed down as it approached, hovering in front of the railing and zeroing in on Reid's slim form. The face plate retracted and a soft smile decorated Tony's face as he locked his gaze onto his partner. "Hey," he said. 

"Hey," Reid responded, closing his book and sliding from the chair. "How did it go?" 

"Could have been better," Tony grumbled, his eyes darting away guiltily. 

"I'm pretty sure no one expected it to go so easily," Spencer reasoned, resting his hands on the railing of the balcony as he came to a stop in front of his air-born lover. 

"Pretty sure? What happened to that 187 genius of yours?" Tony sassed, quirking an eyebrow and letting a little smirk play across his features as he turned his gaze back to Reid. 

Spencer rolled his eyes at the playful jibe. "Are you coming in?" he asked. 

"No, I was thinking of going for fly," the hero responded. "Wanna join me?" 

Reid shook his head."I don't think that would be the smartest thing in my current state," he rebuffed. 

"Why not? Cats love heights! And this is about as high as you can get!" Tony cajoled. 

"I don't think it works that way . . ." Reid countered, reaching out and trailing his fingertips across the warm metal in front of him, the sun reflecting off the suit and drawing his attention, mesmerizing him. Tony stifled a chuckle as he watched his lover become preoccupied with the shine of the material, a touch of red decorating his cheeks. 

"C'mon, Marshmallow," Tony murmured, catching the younger man's hand and bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. "Come fly with me." 

"Hang on there, Sinatra," Derek drawled from the doorway behind them, startling the two on he balcony and making Spencer crane back to look at his teammate over his shoulder. The older agent was framed in the open doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and a slight smirk on his lips. "Steve called," he continued. "We're debriefing in five." 

Tony groaned loudly. "What's there to talk about? We went, we snarked and then Loki poofed," the engineer summarized succinctly. "There isn't much more to say than that." 

"I think I'd like to know the exact content of that snark," Derek said, his smirk widening. 

"You're doing this just to spite me, aren't you?" Tony deadpanned. 

Morgan chuckled. "Think what you want," he responded, uncrossing his arms and reaching into his pocket, pulling out his phone and swiping his thumb across the screen. "Steve says they just pulled into the garage. Time to get out of the suit." 

"Blah, blah, blah, it's not a pool," Tony muttered in disgruntlement, even as he flew over to the rig that would remove the armor from around him. Derek and Spencer watched in awe as the device smoothly removed the pieces, Tony emerging from the metal in his slightly sweaty glory. "Let's get this over with," the engineer demanded, coming to stand next to Reid and twining his arm around the younger's waist. 

"Aren't you in a fun mood?" Derek asked sarcastically, turning and heading back through the doors. 

"The funnest," Tony agreed. He and Spencer strolled after the other agent, Stark pressing multiple kisses against his lover's shoulder. 

"Hey," Prentiss greeted. She was seated on the couch with JJ, Rossi and Hotch already settled at the table as they waited for the rest of the Avengers to arrive. 

"By the look on your face I think it's safe to assume that there was no luck," JJ commented with a sympathetic smile. 

"There was luck," Tony disputed. "Just not the good kind." 

"Unfortunately, that's true," Coulson's voice answered as he stepped out of the elevator. Steve, Bruce and the others piled out of the car after him, all of them settling around the table with heavy sighs that spoke of disappointment. Coulson stayed standing at the head of the table so that he could easily see the teams in front of him and address them efficently. "We spoke with Loki, but he escaped." 

"Did we get any information from him?" Hotch asked. 

"Just that he's a lowlife jerk, but that's nothing new," Clint muttered. Thor looked as if he wanted to protest, but he reigned himself in and remained silent. The Asgardian knew how much the archer had been devastated by the actions of his brother. 

The Avengers explained the rest of the encounter with the god to the FBI team, recounting the phrases that he had used and incidentally ratcheting up the anxiety that the agents were feeling up a few notches. "This is a game to him," Widow said simply. "He's winding us up so that he can watch us fall."

"Like dominoes?" Rossi questioned.

Phil shook his head in disagreement. "More like chess, I think." 

"Whatever game it is, we have to figure out what his aim is," Steve interjected firmly. 

"Steve's right," Derek said. "Pretty Boy, you're our resident chess expert. Any ideas?" The group turned their attention to Spencer, who's brow was furrowed and his arms crossed over his chest as he lost himself in thought. Penelope, who was seated on his right, felt a swell of pride bubble up within her chest. She was always in awe of her team; how they never let anything, even when they were personally involved, get in the way of them solving a case. 

The tech frowned lightly when she noticed a red patch on Reid's cheek that contrasted sharply with the pale tone of his skin. "Did you get sunburned, Boy Genius?" she asked, reaching up to prod a the area. A sharp inhale whistled past her lips as her fingers made contact with the patch of skin. 

"What?" Tony demanded sharply from Spencer's other side. 

"That's not a sunburn," Garcia whispered, turning her wide eyes over to Hotch. "I think he's getting whiskers!" Reid's hands flew to his face, a trill of distress escaping his throat as he felt the stiff threads that were starting to emerge from his cheeks. 

"The spell must be progressing," Coulson said, his tone calm to try and prevent panic. 

"Which means we have less time than we thought to fix this," Clint finished decisively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay! I've had pretty much this whole chapter done for ages except the last few paragraphs; for some reason they did not want to come out. Which was annoying. But I'm kind of amused by this chapter; I like the silly banter between the teams, I was very amused by the giant chickens that came out of nowhere, I laughed the entire time I was writing that scene with Loki and _50 Shades_ and I love Bruce/Clint getting closer (after Clint had a discussion with Phil, of course). 
> 
> Please leave a review, they mean the world to me. Kudos are much appreciated, too! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading the first chapter! I hope something caught your attention and that I will see you all next time. Comments and kudos are much adored.


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